


Adventures in Babysitting

by boombangbing



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Babysitting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-22
Updated: 2013-01-22
Packaged: 2017-11-26 10:57:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/649803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boombangbing/pseuds/boombangbing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You might think that Captain America would be a good babysitter. You'd be wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adventures in Babysitting

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at my tumblr.

"Is that baby Stark?" Darcy says, when she arrives at the Stark Tower kitchen, summoned by Steve's text message consisting simply of the word 'help'. Steve has the kid, Maria, on his hip, while she's chewing the bottom of his t-shirt, perfectly content while Steve looks increasingly distressed.

"Tony invited me over to help him with something and I thought he meant one of his inventions, but he _didn't_ ," Steve complains. "Now he's gone out to have 'grown-up time' with Pepper."

"So he got you over here under false pretences, did he?" she says sympathetically, and he nods. She smiles sweetly and pats his arm. "Like you just did with me?"

He ducks his head. "Sorry. It's just she threw up on me and I tried to go get changed but she started screaming and knocked over the vase and I almost killed her and Pepper would have my head on a stick and--"

"Okay," Darcy says, and reaches out to take Maria from him. Damn, this is one squirmy kid. "Go get changed."

"Thank you!" Steve says, and is practically out of the door before she's properly got the kid in her arms.

Maria looks at her for a couple of long seconds with big brown eyes that are creepily similar to Tony's, lets her mouth drop open silently, and then starts crying. And crying and crying.

"Steve!" Darcy yells. "Steve, she doesn't like me!"

-

"Jarvis, lights," Tony says, hours later.

"Lights at thirty percent," Jarvis says quietly, "Miss Stark has only just gone to sleep."

Tony pulls out his phone - just after midnight - and glances at Pepper's disapproving face. "What? I thought Cap of all people would be a responsible sitter!"

"He did try his best," Jarvis says.

"Where are they?"

"On the couch."

The couch? Oh shit, Tony thinks; Pepper's starting to look real pissed. They follow the trail of toys across the room, and Tony doesn't need to ask which couch, because he can see Steve's big feet hanging over the armrest. They circle round to the front, and find Steve there, with his head pillowed against Darcy's stomach (did Steve seriously invite his girlfriend round while he was babysitting, how old are these two?), asleep on the couch, Maria curled up on his chest, all three of them covered in finger paint. Steve has two very well-defined yellow hand prints on his cheeks, and Maria has correspondingly yellow hands.

"Even your responsible friends turn out to be trouble," Pepper says.

"I do have terrible taste in friends," Tony agrees.


End file.
